It is with a very heavy heart that I find myself writing this today.
The last few months have been without a doubt the hardest of my life.
About 7 months ago Sarah informed me that she was really struggling in our marriage and wasn’t very happy. She felt that we were very different and fundamentally incompatible.
I personally felt very differently. While I could see our differences and problems we had in our marriage, I ultimately saw them as something that we could work on especially given we were still relatively newly-wed.
I believed we could learn to turn our differences into strengths, learn to compromise healthily and that the negatives in our marriage were far outweighed by the positives.
In March we started to see a marriage counsellor and that built substantially on my hope for the marriage.
The counselling had a profound impact on me as an individual and I feel like I have personally never been healthier, both emotionally and spiritually!
Unfortunately Sarah didn’t have the same response to the counselling and doesn’t want to work on things. This came to a head last month when she told me that she wanted a divorce.
Obviously this is a very hard thing for me to accept. On every level I think we have something amazing and something that is worth fighting for. And I have done nothing but fight hard to make this work for the last 7 months.
However the burden of freedom is I can only work on myself and my side of the relationship. I can’t make Sarah change her mind or work on our relationship.
I could go into much more detail and I’m sure in time I will talk about things I have learned through this process and how I am doing. However as it stands I wanted to let people know what was going on.
While I don’t agree with Sarah’s decision I do honour her choice and ask that you as a community do as well. This has not been a rash decision on her part. She has thought long and hard about her choice and I can see where she is coming from in many ways. This has obviously been a very difficult thing for her as well!
I have been through a really tough period over the last few months but I’m finally in a place where I’m doing better and better every day as I continue to grow in who in am in Christ and receive His love and peace. While this has never been an option I would have considered I have perfect peace, and even joy, as I look to the future and I eagerly expect God to turn all things to good.
I have relocated to Sale in the UK to be with close friends and a really great church community that can help me on this journey.
I will be continuing on in ministry. You may have noticed I have been a lot less consistent over the last few months in producing content. This was because I have wanted to be focused on the marriage and then in turn needed time to grieve the loss of Sarah who was my best friend as well as my wife.
I am at the time of writing this in a much better place personally than I’ve ever been and so feel it would be foolish to allow something completely out of my hands to stop me doing what I feel God put me on this planet to do.
Again I appreciate your support and prayers as I transition through this all. It’s not an easy thing to be walking through and I need all the help and support I can get!
Over the years I’ve built a great community of people who are Christ-centric in their lives, they walk in grace and love. Because of that I know you will all love me well and support me through this.
There will always be those who will use this situation to tarnish the message we stand for. The grace of God, His goodness and our perfection in Him.
My situation is terrible – it really is – but it doesn’t change anything I preach! I’d ask you all to just as fervently embrace the good news of the gospel and allow it to saturate your lives. Honestly without the comfort and grace of God I have no idea where I’d be today! It hasn’t caused this situation but it will bring me through it and into a more abundant life.
Thanks for reading this and again, thanks for your love, support and prayers for both of us at this time.
God is good.